I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.