I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
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He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
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I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants