ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
hahahahaha turkey breast
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?