I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize