The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
