why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
