Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
