you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You need Xanax blowdarts
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
