I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
