i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
