The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
