barbara walters just said penis...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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