That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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