Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen