On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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