he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
