dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
