i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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