And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
