But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
