What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
