girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
