You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
