Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.

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(845): View more from New York

I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.

(845): View more from New York

Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.

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(708): View more from Illinois

High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.

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(303): View more from Colorado

It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.

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23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(573): View more from Missouri

This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car

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(916): View more from California

You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.

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(586): View more from Michigan

All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together

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(314): View more from Missouri

He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.

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