she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
