Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
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so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
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But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.