last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof