And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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