Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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