So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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