Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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