whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.