Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'

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  (334): i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified' http://tfl.nu/dnlw
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  (818): View more from California

  I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed

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  (818): I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed http://tfl.nu/k0bk
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."

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  (402): I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while." http://tfl.nu/xrqm
  Replies (26) Good night (867) Bad night (5803)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City

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  (609): Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City http://tfl.nu/hsks
  Replies (64) Good night (4812) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter

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  (561): I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter http://tfl.nu/r170
  Replies (18) Good night (852) Bad night (4703) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me

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  (248): I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me http://tfl.nu/356r
  Replies (20) Good night (7201) Bad night (1167) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....

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  (313): An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it.... http://tfl.nu/pvzg
  Replies (8) Good night (883) Bad night (2567) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them

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  (410): I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them http://tfl.nu/t6zs
  Replies (1) Good night (812) Bad night (1694) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment

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  (818): Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment http://tfl.nu/eaeq
  Replies (8) Good night (3247) Bad night (1032) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.

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  (215): Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes. http://tfl.nu/s26z
  Replies (8) Good night (1780) Bad night (1472) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.

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  (608): She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party. http://tfl.nu/e28o
  Replies (7) Good night (2450) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway

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  (651): I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway http://tfl.nu/e0rj
  Replies (2) Good night (1169) Bad night (321) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.

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  (928): I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now. http://tfl.nu/gaaz
  Replies (29) Good night (3274) Bad night (497)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night

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  (505): She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night http://tfl.nu/ai6j
  Replies (12) Good night (411) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with

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  (618): Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with http://tfl.nu/wwss
  Replies (4) Good night (1041) Bad night (205) Order T-Shirt

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