Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.