I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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