D3 body, D1 cock
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
