even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
