And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
