i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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