do herpes really smell.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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