Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
