What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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