Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
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I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
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The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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