i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
