Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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