apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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