She said her name was "party"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
