I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
