Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
