they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
