OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I didn't notice because vodka
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
