dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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