Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
