I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize