Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
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her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
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Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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