Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
