are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
