I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
