I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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