so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
