Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
