Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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